Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Boredom

When a child is little and they express that they are bored, a lot of times that can be translated as them being lonely. At the moment, they feel lonely. They want someone to be with them, to entertain them, to talk, and love them.

I have a pretty busy schedule with school, work, church service, serving, and CIRCLES. Even amidst all of the business of life, whenever I get a free moment I simply feel bored. I can't wait for the next thing that I have to do. I hate that feeling because like a child, it truly does feel lonely. Even as I write this, I have been alone for the past few hours and it some ways it hurts. But in the midst of these feelings I feel conviction. Because isn't God always there? What if there was a point that even if you were alone you didn't actually feel lonely. That's where I wanna be. I wanna with the Holy Spirit all the day long. Communing, fellowshipping, and speaking with him. I do do that often, but not enough.

I guess...I guess I just want more of the Holy Spirit. So Come Holy Spirit. Come. Come fill me and my brothers & sisters of CIRCLES. Fill us up so much that you just pour out of us, overflow, and flood the world around us. All we want is you. Your son, Nick.

9 comments:

  1. Very interesting thoughts Nick. We do feel alone at times, but you are right...God is always there. So what does that mean? Do we not value our time with Him enough? Why do we not feel his presence? Are we too distracted? You have definitely provoked me to think on these things!

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  2. I think some of this has to do with contentment, too. Being satisfied with what God is doing and how He working and allowing that to be enough.

    There are a lot of people in the world who expect God to work in the ways that make sense to them, but God's ways are better than ours.

    I can't help but think that many of the times when I feel bored, I'm actually saying that what God has in mind is not enough for me...

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  3. Careful what you ask for, Nick. I'm just thinking back to our prius ride from Redding a few weeks ago. The holy spirit filled that car for 9 hours. There we all worshipped, prayed, and had visions and dreams for what God is planning to do in and through us.

    I would say, try to remember what he spoke to you there. That is something to get excited about. Realize that He's always speaking and loves when we take time to seek him out. Praying for revival in junior high,

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  4. I agree with Darin that some of this does deal with contentment... which is personally a difficult thing for me to grasp too. But I also think in conjuncture with that, that it is important to learn how to just BE.

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  5. As evidenced by this post, God uses those lonely moments. He speaks. He helps us to process. They may be lonely, but they're also valuable.

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  6. you guys this is great! I loved these comments!

    This post was definitely written from a place of frustration but I didn't care. I just felt like, "Okay then. If Circles is supposed to be honest and open and our blogs are supposed to be honest and open posts then I'm gonna write one that is completely honest even if it sounds bad."

    At the moment I'm excited to write another post. And it will most likely be tomorrow. Thanks guys

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  7. I love the prayer Nick, it is exactly what's on my heart too. I just want the Spirit so bad, ha. Whenever I think about the Holy Spirit I get so pumped! You're posts are great and I'm so stoked for you bud! Hope all is well, brother. Cheers

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  8. Thank you for sharing this. I tend to be the opposite, and can easily keep to myself, wanting to have more "alone time" then not. But as we talk about engaging one another, and learn more about how we all are a part of one body, I see how you and I could be used by God to help each other out. There's a balance to both sides. Maybe we can find it ;-)

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  9. May this be my prayer too! I so often find myself feeling "hurt" when I am alone. It is so encouraging that this feeling isn't necessary or true. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

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